For this control Momma, Surrender was a dirty word.
But doing things my way kept bringing me to my knees. Being scorched by the fiery trials of life would either consume me or bring out the Divine in me. I used to think the fire was a punishment, I now understand when the scripture writer says he was glad for his afflictions. The trials led to my surrender which simply forced my total dependence on God. Which wasn’t such a bad thing since the condition of my life was a direct result of all my stellar control.
So gently as the rain outside my window, I open my hand to my God and offer him everything.
Take all of me and do with me what though wilt. Take all my broken places and pour your healing love into the cracks. Bind my insecurity with the safety of your presence. Take my tears as a salty sacrifice and bless my heart with the joy of your great countenance.
Daddy I’m scared, but I’m more afraid to keep doing things my way. I offer it all to you! All that I am. All that I have. Use me as you see fit. God, I know you’re real, so please make yourself real to me. God I’m so human and I sure could use feeling my Daddy God all around today. Help me be all you’ve called me to be. Lord I surrender! Help the parts of my heart that hold on still. Lord I surrender, again…
I love you God. I trust you! That’s all I have…
But somehow today, it feels like its more than enough.
Love your baby girl, Dee